Oh I do believe

I really don't know why the hell I'm still debating a particular issue. I honest to GOD don't. I guess cause it still feels like I'm giving up and my stubbornness and strong will sees it as such. Normal, I stick it out until it totally disinterests me but this time, I don't know. I feel like no matter what I say, I'm not being heard and no matter what I do, it's not going to appease anyone. But what's upsetting me is that this whole thing feels like fucking high school drama bullshit to where you have that one or two or more those kind of people that all go to the one person that'll actually tell you to your face that they and everyone else has a problem with you and what you're doing. It's very discouraging to get the same thing two or three times when I'm trying to fix the problem and I'm getting a deadline and serious impatience about it. I really should just say to hell with it and leave but I can't. I don't know. *sighs* Fuck. I really need to just say fuck it when something like this gets to me this bad. I should just borrow Kitty's use of words and say "Fuck it. Fuck it in the ass." But doing that feels like I'm giving in to someone wanting me gone or something and I don't want to give them that kind of satisfaction. I love some of the people that are in this with me but at the same time, I feel like I'm being forced to question who I can actually trust here. I'm just having a SERIOUS conflict of interest. I think I just need to stop and leave it completely alone for a little while because I can't even think about what the hell I'm doing anymore. I think that's what I'm going to do for now. I'm just going to back the fuck away from it and not even LOOK at it for a week or two just so I can clear my head. Cuz if I KEEP thinking about it like this and attempt to appease everyone AGAIN, I'm just going to get MORE shit about it.